You missed our wild days and we're settled down now. We've learned a lot from our previous relationships. It's not like a guy who's five years older than you is going to be taking you out for the Denny's early bird special ever day before promptly going to bed, but odds are those 5 a.m. We can still drink people under the table, we just don't want to do it at some crappy, crowded dive bar. We don't want to be shoving our way through a bunch of sweaty people to get them. You're going to hear stories about "the old days" and wonder why we aren't as fun anymore. All right, so no one knows what they want, but we've got a job, if not a career, and some money saved up, because we already did that thing where you spend all your money and then have no money.7. Maybe just one shot of whiskey instead of seven of vodka. We know what we want out of life, and we're probably not going to change it. Don't try and get us to do acid again just because you want to see if we can recreate the time we went to Bonnaroo 10 years ago.4. "Older" doesn't necessarily mean we're going to stop watching cartoons or laughing at fart jokes. Yeah, we might also have emotional baggage, but the more time we've had to date around, the more we know what we like and (hopefully) how to avoid making the same mistakes we made previously.8. Do you need help setting up automatic bill pay or your 401(k)?
In the course of her research, my friend met a woman in her 40s who, over a series of interviews, repeatedly insisted that she’d been a “little Lolita” in her own preteen years.Deborah (not her real name, of course) wanted to make it clear that, as she put it, “grade-school girls can have sexual agendas too.”Deborah, now a mother of teens herself, told my friend that when she was 11, she’d started taking private piano lessons.Her teacher was a married man in his 30s, and he gave these lessons out of his home while his wife was away.Deborah was desperate for affection, and she thought her piano teacher was “very handsome.” She cuddled up to him on the piano bench, and eventually worked her way up to sitting in his lap.One day, she felt his erection driving against her.Deborah had secretly read her mother’s copy of ; she knew—or thought she knew—what an erect penis meant.