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Our daily interactions constantly validate us as people. And so when we speak about my sexuality and my gender, as we do (and we must) we mean something complicated by it.
But as a trans person, a person outside the socially acceptable modes of expression I find myself often trapped in these webs of connections.
The webs of you aren't, you can't, you won't, invalidating my lived experiences.
Ever since I can remember someone has been telling me I'm not who I think I am.
Recently, I've been told I'm not a daddy despite the sleepless nights, the cuddles, the poopy butts, the laughter, the soothed tears.
Despite the child that lives in my home calling me just that. Frankly, it scares me to embrace any role too tightly because with a few words I can feel it slip from me.
For me and for most trans people, our personhood is often invalidated by a simple phrase 'You aren't a man.' Our relationships are ignored with 'You can't be a husband.' Our loved deny with 'You won't be my son.' These tragedies of the tongue can undo someone's personhood. But most days, I know that I have to validate this experience for myself. I leave you with this, when you hear you aren't, you can't and you won't, remember that is someone trying to invalidate your experience and I say you are, you can and you will.