It was like one of those dramatic, straight-from-the-movies moments when a guy I hadn’t quite gotten over told me that he left his girlfriend of six months for me.
When he’d started dating her, it was a shock — I thought we were in the early stages of something really amazing, but out of nowhere, he called me to let me know that he was suddenly in a relationship with a girl he just met.
It seemed pretty clear at the time that he just wasn’t into me.
He was never just straight forward and honest, so it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. It’s pretty hard to ignore when the guy you like shows up at your door with that look on his face. I was constantly waiting for him to make a decision.At some point, I should have told him I’d had enough, but I never wanted to be the one to end it. Once the fog had lifted, I felt pretty stupid for letting him back in over and over even when I knew deep down he was just going to hurt me again.I gave him all the power because I kept giving him another chance. I needed the closure of him blowing me off that second time.Despite feeling dumb for giving him another chance, I think I needed to do it anyway.If I didn’t at least try, I always would have wondered what would have happened if I did.The regret of not trying is always somehow worse than the results of trying, even if they’re bad. For awhile after he disappeared for good I kept thinking I should have done something differently.