But, is your dating anxiety so bad it’s keeping you from finding love?People get anxious about dating for a variety of reasons.You may find yourself asking these questions before and after a date: The questions are endless, but all of them are rooted in fear of the unknown and the uncontrollable.Often this fear stops us from taking chances on people that may be good for us because we are just too afraid to find out.They cause you to go out on a date thinking only about one person in the room: yourself.You may be concerned about what the other person will think of you, what you will say, and every other detail in between. You’ll probably start biting your nails, twirling your hair, or shaking the table with your aggressive foot tapping.So what if the date goes wrong; what if it goes well? Researchers Kashdan and Roberts, found that your decision to focus on your anxieties (like, “What if he doesn’t like me?”) or curiosity when meeting a new person determines how the social situation will be experienced.
However, curiosity contributed to positive feelings about social interactions. Ask genuine questions about the other person, just make conversation; you might even enjoy yourself. We use algorithms, apps, and carefully executed plans in order to have some semblance of control over our dating lives and our futures.
Regardless of the individual’s level of anxiety, those who were curious enjoyed social interactions more than non-curious individuals. We have transformed a personal experience into a mathematical equation that needs to be completed by an exact date. With an activity like dating, so much can be left up to the imagination – creating a toxic cycle of negative thinking and control-seeking behaviors.
With any anxiety-provoking situation, where so much is out of control, control what you can.
Focusing on getting to know the other individual, reframing your experiences, and minimizing your expectations can make dating a little less painful.
Dating can be daunting in general, but if you struggle with social anxiety, it can seem impossible at times.
For me, one who struggles with social anxiety, dating can be a difficult process.