Meeting someone you barely know and proceeding to have a way-too-fast Uhaul style insta-relationship makes sense to me.The idea of getting to know someone over a series of awkward meals and otherwise mundane encounters while you are both trying really hard not to get food on your clothes or burp is just stressful.Maybe I just never got the swing of dating because I was a teenage outcast.meets some show that wasn’t around in the 90s because there was no Latina representation.That was me – a burgeoning mini-babe who didn’t know she was a total catch, trying really hard to get a boyfriend.I always found the world of dating and romance both alluring and inhospitable.I didn’t have the delicate graces of any of the women on TV. And nothing fit me so I couldn’t even wear anything cute. David was (way) older than me, worked at Butterfield & Butterfield, and introduced me to the world of nice towels and foie gras.
Then there’s the fear of rejection, something I feel super acutely as a big woman because I grew up being told I was too big to be desirable.
We often date from a scarcity mentality, presuming that most men do not date plus size women.
I’m also particularly suspicious, often having been cornered into a relationship that started out ok but then took a turn for the absurdly casual (“Oh, ok, so don’t want to plan anything ever, you just want to see what happens and if I happen to be around and you happen to be around and we happen to want to hang out in my bed then maybe let’s text each other with no more than 30 minutes notice? I would often find myself frustrated, and in response I did what a lot of women do: adjust my expectations and my behavior in order to accommodate the demands and expectations of my potential dates.
I knew I didn’t like it, but I didn’t think there was another way.
Many dates and some serious relationships later, I find myself single and dating again.
Right as I was going solo in late 2016, I went to the Curvy Girl plus size lingerie show in San Jose, CA.